Isabella

Tomorrow is my late brother in law's anniversary, it will be 12 years since Mark died from cancer. He was diagnosed with liver cancer and had chemotherapy treatment, the cancer spread and he died six months later. My sister Isabella of course was devastated and at the time we were all very sad as Mark was a beautiful person and to this day we miss him dearly. At that particular time I was going through a happy new phase where I was in a new relationship and even though I still grieved for Mark, I had other things distracting me from it all and soon learnt to deal with the situation. I was always there for my sister when she needed me and did what I could, but I think at the time and I've only just realised this, I don't think I actually realised how bad she was feeling, and even if I did,  I don't think I would have been able to deal with it any differently. Now that mum is sick, my sister has had to take her for appointments, scans, blood tests etc and communicate with the doctors about her condition. It is now that I realise how difficult and stressful it must have been for Isabella to have to do that so many years ago, especially for her husband whom she loved dearly and whom she thought was going to grow old with her. I am grateful for my sister Isabella for doing this all again, for our mother this time. I don't think I could have done it any better or dealt with it quite as well as she does. So my beautiful sister Isabella, I love you and thank you!
Steph

Cancer Does Not Discriminate

There is no distinction, discrimination or favouring when it comes to cancer! You can be fat or skinny, white or black, kind or mean, blonde or brunette, young or old. My mother is waiting on a biopsy to determine what is happening with her pancreas, the doctors say that she has a 99% chance she has pancreatic cancer. This will be the 5th time she has had to battle it, the last four times was for Hodgkins Lymphoma (Hodgkins Disease) a cancer that attacks your lymph glands. This time however she is 74 years old and frail, the last time she had cancer was 11 years ago and she had Dad to encourage her and look after her, and well Dad ain't here to do that.  I haven't seen my mother as thin as she is now. We went to visit her today and she didn't look too bad, a little uncomfortable with some pain but she was very happy to see us all. I think maybe mum has accepted her condition as she did the previous times. My only wish is that the treatment will work just as it did then. We can only hope and pray and support her during her next battle. I am still hopeful that perhaps it's a cancer that can be treated and a speedy recovery to follow.

Steph

My Hope Came True For Mum

My exact words of my blog the other day were: "I am hoping that Mum is wrong and that by the end of today she will be in hospital with a drip in her arm, comfortably sitting up in bed eating something and with a big smile on her face!" Well it wasn't by the end of the day but it was the next morning and it came true! Thank goodness! Last night the doctors at Peter Mac Callum Institute admitted mum for more tests and this morning when I went to visit her she was sitting in bed with more colour in her face, with less pain, she hadn't thrown up this morning and she even ate a whole bowl of cornflakes with milk for breakfast. Yay go Mum. I am so grateful for that!
Steph

The Home Warming Party A Huge Success

This post is a much more exciting and happy post in comparison to today's previous post about my Mum, it's about the House Warming party we had a couple of weeks ago. Things got so busy with work, mum being sick and just the general day to day stuff that I didn't get time to blog about it so here it is. Our party was a huge success, everyone who came loved my food which to me was the ultimate reward for all the hard work I put in to making it all. I spent quite a lot of hours preparing and cooking the food. I made loads of finger food, savoury and sweet. The party has opened the doors to more opportunities for me to start up my catering business. One of our guests manages a golf course and estate and said he wanted me to go and see him after I got my certificates which I now have (just waiting to get registered with the council). So exciting, I can't stop thinking of the endless possibilities this could turn out to have!
Steph

Hoping Mum is wrong

This morning my Mum said "I think I'm going to leave you soon", and to that I replied "no of course you're not, you'll be fine you're going back to the doctors today and we'll see what they say, we'll pack your bag and either way you'll be admitted to PeterMac or Royal Melbourne, you can't stay here like this, you need to go in, they will put you on a drip and get your fluids up and you will feel much better". What if Mum is right and she is departing this earth very soon? Do we ever really know when our time is up? Or is it because she is in pain that her mental state is such that makes her want to depart and meet her maker because she just can't take any more? Last night while talking to her she seemed fine for a few minutes, speaking to us better and more alert than she had been for the whole day, and yet this morning she's weak, in pain and can hardly put three words together. I am hoping that Mum is wrong and that by the end of today she will be in hospital with a drip in her arm, comfortably sitting up in bed eating something and with a big smile on her face!  

Steph

A smile and a laugh from Mum

It's been a while since I've slept with my Mum and last night I slept right beside her in her bed. I remember when we were little and we wanted to sleep near Mum and she would give in to us, then Dad would get kicked out of his bed and have to sleep in ours instead. My Mum is quite sick at the moment and has been for about four months now, so we have come down to see her. At this moment Mum is the frailest she has ever been and that I can ever remember her to be. She has had Hodgkins Disease four times in her life and had Radiotherapy and/or Chemotherapy each time but I still don't think Mum was as sick then as she seems to be now. I am worried about the outcome of today's specialist appointment for the last scan she had. We are hoping that we will get some answers as to why Mum is so sick. She has had numerous scans, blood tests etc all of which show up negative. I suppose this is a good thing but not so good when you are feeling crap and no one has any answers as to why. Mum has lost so much weight, her figure is skeletal with minimal skin and flesh just covering her frail bones. She hardly eats and she has no strength left let alone any positiveness left in her small body. I am a great believer that your mind is a powerful thing and what you think you become etc etc. and that a healthy lifestyle has a lot to do with your overall health (I am not perfect but I do try really hard) and that laughter is the best medicine. So last night we sat with mum and watched something funny on tv and I got to see her smile and laugh even if it was for just a very short time. So I am grateful for that.
Steph

There Is No Backing Out Now Invites Are Out

There is no backing out now.......the invitations have all been sent to our House Warming party. A little excited but also a little anxious but in a good way. Didn't invite people from work as I couldn't narrow it down enough to not upset anyone, so I didn't and plus we just couldn't fit everyone in our house especially if it's raining.
Steph